December 3, 2007
I’m a pretty traditional guy when it comes to relationships. When I was single I was a serial monogamist. I’m a lot of things…but I’m no cheater. I wish I could say it’s because I’m a virtuous person, with the wisdom and equipoise to rise above such base desires. That’s not true though. If I am any archetypal character, it is Hedonismbot (ok, not an archetype, but a nichey, kitschy pop reference). No, I don’t cheat because I’m not hardwired for it. I’m born that way, like hemophiliacs and homosexuals (no connection between the two, btw. I just like the flow of words.)
I’m an intimacy whore. That’s my ultimate fetish. I want to connect with you. Yes, I’ll make you cum (a lot, you dirty slut) but the whole time, I’ll be psychically probing for your tell, that little clue you drop on the way to O-town; then I’ll try to get in your bubble. Why? Ask Jung, Freud, or Reich. The point is that no matter how adventurous and kinky I am, and even though I work in porn, sometimes with naked young women with issues, it never crosses my mind to stray. It’s weird, I know.
All this info is setting the stage for what happened this past week. It’s a first, not only for my marriage, but my life. I, the Marky D. Sade pushed my boundaries, and stepped outside my comfort zone. There’s a man with whom I work that my wife has been enamored with (carnally) for months. One of those lust at first sight deals. He’s black, Cuban, really cool, and just gorgeous. Well, this is lame and trite and very Dr. Phil, but… as I say almost every week, my wife, Catalina is my best friend, soulmate, Yin to my Yang… and we talked about said co worker joining us in bed, and it drove Catalina wild every time. So, I planned a little something for her upcoming birthday.
Mr. F (let’s call him that, ok?) and I spoke about Catalina’s infatuation. Now, we’re both porn writers, me fetish and he mainstream, so there’s a certain candor that’s acceptable. Long story short, he’s down for the birthday threesome. Now, I can’t stress enough how hot this man is. I would fuck him… and I might, but that’s another post. Catalina knew I was speaking to Mr. F. She was chatting with him as well, from work. Nothing inappropriate, just chatting, flirting and getting along.
I wanted to give Catalina a gift, because she’s been working her little bottom off, making $$$ for the family. So, I wanted to give her Mr.F for a little rendezvous. Catalina has a blog of her own, two actually, and she had posted a fantasy about Mr. F that I wanted to give her. It involved her walking into Mr. F’s home, taking him into his bedroom, and sucking him off. Once he came, she would come home and fuck the hell out of me, and I’d make her a good girl again. Crazy hot, but…. I was a little unsettled, insecure, jealous, mainly because of two issues.
1.) Mr. F is magically hot. He’s african/cuban, tall strong, and of course (as I found out later) his cock is enormous. I am white, forty, and Irish. This is basic human insecurity. He’s crazy hot. I’m simply dazzling.
2.) I am a default monogamist. Deep in my core I equate monogamy with good/right/virtue/safe/love. The thought of Catalina sucking another man’s cock (w/o me involved) gave me great anxiety. It’s odd, because we have had a threesome w/ a male friend of ours, and another with a female, and both were just fine. It was the thought of me not being there… I was terrified that things would change, that she’d want an affair, and an open marriage, and we’d lose our intimacy and connection… or we’d simply fall apart and get divorced. Crazy shit. Scary. (irrational, ultimately, but understandable, right?)
So, I did lots of thinking, reflecting, and self examination (involving my nuts and a mirror… kidding.) Catalina and I have always bee in sync, but in this area we differ. Anyway…Last week, my sweet Catalina stopped by and saw Mr. F. She sucked his (huge) cock and made him cum twice. And then she came home and told me all about while I fucked her and made her mine again. The sky didn’t fall. She still loves me. We’re as close as we ever were, and she’s very grateful for the experience.
Her birthday is Christmas Day. I think I know what to get her. The two of us are going to fuck her silly.
What I ask you is…Is there anything, sexually, that gives you jitters? Anything that pushes a button and makes you go AHHH?
Have you pushed boundaries, and returned to tell the tale?
Do you think we’re evil sinners who have tainted the sacrament of marriage?
Do you want to be my birthday present?
My 40th birthday is in January, and I would LOVE another woman to join my wife in fucking me over the hill.