Originally Posted At Catalina Loves (my wife’s sex blog).
[This photo by Far Rider Photography is one of the best photos ever made. I want to meet this guy!]
Remember that commercial where the guy hits himself in the forehead and says, “I could’ve had a V-8?” That’s how I felt when I realized that I have been doing interviews with my cool friends and didn’t do one yet with Marky D. Sade. Sometimes the best things are right under your nose! My own husband is a well-known fetish writer, a musician, a comic book writer, a network administrator, a blogger, a website designer, a publicity machine, and a super Dad (and Daddy!)
So here is the interview I wrote for my Husband.
1. When you were doing your degree in Religious Studies, did you ever think you’d end up being a well-known fetish writer?
I had no idea. I have always been (to some degree) a writer, but it wasn’t until you sent me that Craigslist ad, that I considered it. Then once I worked in fetish… I found my home.
2. Do you think there is an inherent conflict between religion and fetish/kink? It seems so “sinful” in ways.
Well, I see most religions as simple calcification of the ethos and shared experiences of a central figure. Christianity = a set of values, rules, and mythology intent on fulfilling the will of a first century jew. Ditto Judaism and Moses and Islam and Mohammed. Look at the WWJD phenomenon. Would a first century social revolutionary from the middle east approve of you investing in big tobacco? He wasn’t even allowed to poop on Saturdays.Think about it. Now… saying that, yes… I think something as diverse, mutable, and undeniably powerful as sex/desire/lust, is just too amorphous to stay comfortably w/in any set of boundaries, no matter how wide open. There are six billion of us. That’s a lot of room for kinky deviance. People get off on cannibalism, scat, and real castration. Yikes. I don’t want a religion that’s down w/ pedophilia, bestiality, or… well, anything I think is wrong.
3. What other artistic ventures did you pursue before becoming Marky D. Sade?
I’ve been a musician for twenty-five years. Well, I started playing guitar when I was fifteen. I went to the Berklee College of Music, where I studied, arranging (w/ Sir George Martin), production and soundtrack writing (with John Williams). Wasn’t my thing. I wrote a couple of underground comic books
4. How were you introduced to the BDSM lifestyle?
I have always been dominant in bed, although by nature more than nurture. Once you and I met, you, and your collar and lead, gave structure to my tendencies.
5. What is your side of the story of how Marky and Catalina met and fell in love?
We both hit it off immediately, right from the start. The Samhain celebration, where you fucked Adam, wasn’t as magical as the Thanksgiving party where we spent the whole day and night under the covers together. From that point forward, love just forced itself through the cracks in the walls we had built. Neither of us was looking for a relationship, but neither us was foolish enough to turn away from a love so vast, powerful, and undeniable.
6. (How) do you think having children changes your BDSM behavior?
Inasmuch as it changes everything. One does often need to rediscover, or redefine, their sexuality; especially women. By and large, kids = parents as far as sex goes. You can’t have it when either are around. The biggest difference is in spanking, flogging, or paddling your luscious ass. If the kids are home, even if they’re sleeping, you can’t get into being beaten, for fear of scaring the kids. I’d say that’s the biggest difference. I miss beating your ass until you drip.
7. What would you do to Mz. Berlin if you had a child-free day and night?
This: With her as the suitcase. For real. I would wreck that chick. But truthishly, if I had twenty four hours w/ Berlin, I’d spend a good part of it getting baked and watching cartoons… like you and I do. Hanging with Marky D. is the cure for every stressed out, burned out domme who needs a little down (on her knees) time.
8. Do you have any true fetishes? What makes a fetish distinct from a preference?
Nipples. I love nipples. I love seeing them peep out when they’re not supposed to, I love sucking, licking, biting, pulling, pinching, clipping, clamping… you name it. Yes. Nipples for 1000, Alex. The distinction between fetish and preference is I think in frequency and intensity.
9. What is your idea of a perfect Saturday?
Waking up w/ your lips around my cock, cumming, sleeping for four more hours, and waking to fresh coffee and the Internet. Then I smoke pot, drink coffee, then soda, then Chartreuse (over the course of the day) while writing, reading, and listening to music. Then, if this is an Ideal, a good four hours of opium dreaming, followed by pancakes and ice cream. Then sweet love with you until sunrise.
10. Do you think that Chris Martin could beat up Jimmy Page?
Present day? Could stupid, worthless, poser, wife abusing, Chris (I love rape) Martin.. who is about 30, beat up a 64 year Peer of the Realm, and philanthropist? Yes, he could, and he probably would, were he not consumed with picking the scabs off his syphilitic, chancre ridden thorax, and (of course) berating Gwyneth Paltrow (calling her fat, ugly, useless), or… flat out beating his kids… yes.. if he could find the time, I’m sure he’d beat up an old man. Ha ha. OH WAIT.. A better answer is, “Only if U2 did it first.” There we go.
11. How do you think your views on polyamory (or hotwifery or wifesluttery) have changed over the course of our marriage?
Hmmm. It’s changed for sure. I’m more open to it, obviously, but it still hurts on some level. Ultimately, what we have now is ok, but I would never want either of us to have a separate relationship with any kind of intimacy, or love. You’re mine. but sharing our bed with special people has been dandy.
12. Do you think there is a distinction between mainstream porn and fetish porn as far as quality? What do you think accounts for that distinction? Quality? How so?
I think big studio production porn has techical quality equal to low end cinema, or direct to dvd mainstream movies. Lots of fetish porn is awful technically, one camera, vhs camcorder, no mics… lots of bush league content… however, the quality of the content may be superior.
13. Why would anybody pay for porn when it’s free all over the internet?
Most net savvy peeps get get free porn, no problem. You should pay for porn when what’s being offered is unique, and appeals to you intensely. Case in point. You can find bondage clips all over, but they’re usually 20 second teasers, or just random downloads… scattershot. That’s fine if you’re vanilla. You can feed off of free blowjob videos forever, but if you want forced orgasms, or pony play, or the like… your choices are fewer. That’s when you should either find a paysite, or video on demand site, etc… and treat yourself like an adult. You don’t eat out of dumpster, do you? On occasion, treat yourself to a large, reliable, legitimate library of the porn you enjoy. You owe it to your fetish. You will find much more, and better, latex content, or pony play content, if you find a site you like, and join.
14. What is your favorite cereal?
Hmm. That depends. Cocoa Krispies, Lucky Charms, Mini Wheats…
15. Write your own question and answer it I love you!
What’s gonna work? Teamwork!